whats been going on
This an an email I wrote to someone about what has been going on and also my computer is dead and I am using my sister’s laptop. I don’t know when mine will be fixed.
My kitty died of leukemia on thursday. He hadbeen losing a lot of weight the past couple of weeks but we didnt really think much of it and my mom just thought he had a cold. Then, he started getting really weak and wednesday night/day I would pick him up and he would just lay on me. He was usully the squirmy type and when Iwent to bed i laid him on my chest and put a blanket on him and just kissed his face a million times. Then i layed him on the side of me and he just didnt move. He eventually slowly got up and jumped off and went under my bed. This was about 10 pm.
The next morning, It was about 6 45 and I knew he was still under my bed. When I looked under he was laying there flat, i almost didnt see him. I touched him, He was cold and he let out a low loud cry. I dragged him out of under my bed and he was as limp as a rag. He head just hung down. I layed him on my bed and started crying and screaming. He kept doing the low loud cry everytime i would walk away from him. I called my mom from work yelling and crying telling her that he was dying, she was at mercy hospital so it took herabout 30 min to get home. She came into my room and picked him up and he kept crying and crying andhad no control of his body. twice his body arched back and did weird things and it scared me so bad.
When we went to the hospital they checked him out and he was really low in temp and he used to weigh 13 pounds..only weight 7.7…they wrapped him up in a warm blanket and rice socks. we were up there for awhile with him and they took blood from him and it would take about 40 min so me and mom went to ihop and went back and she said it wasnt as bad as it seemed, but she didnt know what was going on in the machine in the back and it kept flagging white blood cells…When we went back there, she confirmed he had leukemia and it looked advanced. They said they would see how he did over night.
We called the first time from home and they said they got his blood sugar up and he was starting to look around and trying to sit up but couldnt because he was so weak. He was more aware of what was going on and he was blinking more frequently. (at home that morning he wasnt blinking at all)
Then about 2 hours later they called and said….he was going into cardiac arrest and we needed to get down there. They said they had revived him so we could get down there. By the time we went down there his heartrate was 28 heart beats perminute. He was pretty much gone. He looked so gone. I havent cried that hard in so long. My mom picked him up and held him like baby and we used to always call him “Pretty Boy” and my mom whispered it into his ear. The doctor checked his heart andhe was gone. We didnt even have to put him to sleep.
It all happened so fast. and I am still in shock. He wasonly about 6 or 7 years old. Amazing baby boy and I am glad he had him. He adopted us when we first moved into the apartments when I was in 7th grade. His old owner left him. I am glad they did.
So yeah, thats my news BUT we adopted a new orange kitty that is exactly like him.!!!! the old owner who works at the vet we got him from got caught with 3 pets in her apartment and so had to give up one. His name is Vincent Gambini “Vinny” (we kept his oldname) and he is precious.
We are getting my old cat cremated and they did a paw print of his paw around a heart. Its those plaster things that you bake.
I had a sign from him too…..
He used to always wake me up in the morning and would jump on my bed and walk on me.
The day aftermy mom turned my light on and left and i felt and heard something jump on my bed and was walking on my legs…my eyes were closed when it happened and when I finally looked up, it stopped and nothing was there. My mom said none of the cats were in my room. I believe in things like that.
Can’t keep fighting this.
Talking to Alese the other day (thanks for listening btw) about how some days I care what people think of me and other days I don’t.
But I can’t help but wonder why people think what they do.
Why people just can’t let go of things that happened in the past.
I know some people stay the same, some people change for the worse…
But if you compared me from this year to last…You would see a total stranger.
I know it’s naturally human for people to try to understand peoples opinions, but you could live your whole life and when you’re 99 years old, you still won’t know.
You will never know why people talk to you in places where there are other people, but not one on one. I want people to talk to me, so I can help them. I love them so much and want them to understand that.
I am getting so weary of giving all I have to people who throw it back.
I do know that God gave me some kind of gift of caring, but its for those who WANT to accept help. Sometimes I want to save the world.
I won’t cry.
As of now, the thing thats bothering me..I have to let it go. If it’s whats supposed to be, it will be.
I love you MW MS MJ KD BG= everything that helped form what is now me..
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Why?
People have been questioning the reason behind blogs. I personally don’t understand how they don’t understand but I guess opinions are different.
I love the fact my friends have journals. I wouldn’t know what was going on in their lives if they didn’t. Yes, we are putting things out in the world for everyone to read BUT most people would have some common sense to not put TOO personal of things. And there is a password feature on here so if need be, I could put HEY IM PREGNANT and password protect it, that way no one sees!!!
I’m not pregnant, just an example 
But some people need a place to write, and sometimes want some support and feedback which a paper journal cannot do.
Plus, you can put really neat pictures!! =)
WordPress.
I think it’s cool how I can import stuff into wordpress. I found some old journals and imported posts back from 2003…but beware. I cussed like a sailor.
=)
okay?
If you’re gonna actually take the time to google my name “mollie duvall” atleast leave a comment.
This post is for CAT! Since I show up in her feed …
This post is for CAT! Since I show up in her feed reader right when I post.
I love you!!!
Christmas was good. I don’t want to take my Christmas tree down.
Okay I know I haven’t written. The fact no one rea…
Okay I know I haven’t written. The fact no one really comes makes me lose motivation.
I have a lot on my mind right now. Especially right now. I really want to talk about it but I am afraid it will come out wrong. I will say that I don’t know if God is putting certain people in my life to make me see what life is really about or if I am choosing this. I am lucky, but it hurts like hell, especially when things in their life aren’t working out.
Christmas music makes me sad this year…especially the song “breath of heaven”..I wanted to cry. I am sad this holiday season and I wanna break lose but it’s so hard.
Mollie
Stuff
I am here. Didn’t really feel like writing the past few days because I can’t seem to get any of my thoughts out the way I really want to but I figured trying wouldn’t hurt.
Ever try to see the good from a bad outcome? Niki’s death has brought so many blessings and even though I miss Niki so much it hurts I am happy with the way things have been going since. I have become closer with some people, talked to Niki’s family for the first time and been keeping in touch. It’s been amazing. But it’s still so hard, I teared up during class today, especially when a song comes on that really reminds me of her.
Her aunt emailed me yesterday. I had emailed her first and she sent me the letter Niki wrote me 2 days before she left this Earth and I was bawling. It is the most amazing letter I have ever read and it just gives me so much comfort, and I am so happy she is no longer in any pain. It would be very selfish to want her back just so I would feel better. She went through so much and deserves to be free.
I showed some close people the letter but this is the part that stuck out the most:
“Remember that I’ll be rooting for you all the time dearie , and telling Jesus about you. And I’ll be wanting to tell you about how amazing heaven is but I won’t be able to , so just know that it will be amazing, and know that I will always love you. Look for me when you get to heaven , k? I’ll be waiting for you . ”
How amazing is that. I can’t wait until I see her again, talk to her again, hug her so hard. It will be the best first day of my eternal life. Is it weird to be excited already???
Mollie
